“You don’t get into this because you’re curious. You get in this, unleash a fury and fight for your place. This has to be your dream or you won’t make it. You have to live for it.”
The twisted creature of darkness, Gwendolyn Eve Hill fetish pinup doll talks about the world of alternative modeling, exotic dancing, metal and more.
Tell us about yourself. What is the backstory behind your model alias, Gwendolyn Eve Hill, Fetish Pinup Doll?
Ah, people never tire of hearing that story! I’ve been a dancer for almost 12 years. I used to dance by the name Raven because I always wore black, had black hair, was extremely gothic, etc.. I found myself in a new club that already had a Raven so I had to choose a different name which was weird for me because to me that was my name. I had ceased to use my real name years before this. The only thing I could think of was to have the group of strangers that were my new-found coworkers pick a new name for me. Names were thrown at me and they flew right over my head until I heard the name Gwen. I remember saying, “Hey, everyone stop! What was that name?” It just FELT like my name. Eve Hill is simply a play on the word Evil (which no one gets, by the way.) Gwendolyn Eve Hill was born.
What would you say is controversial or unique about yourself?
I don’t know any alt/fetish models that have a background in exotic dancing. I think that brings a certain amount of “raunch” to my style that I cannot and have no desire to control. I’ve been told it’s off putting by some but most just love it. I don’t do porn. I model with porn on my brain. I’m not trying to do artistic. I don’t want to be sexy. I want to be sex. And I absolutely love challenging what people think when they think about sex.
Fascinated with blood, fetish and metal, how do you intertwine these concepts with your work?
Fetish is just something that I simply am. I can’t not model fetish. No matter how vanilla I try to make a photo shoot, there it is. Blood? I don’t even know how to explain it. I’ve actually engaged in bloodletting and there is something so intimate, personal and fucking arousing about it. I love the way it tastes, the way it smells, the way it feels sticky under my fingers. Even though we deal mostly in fake blood, I can’t help but notice that a hot chick covered in blood (fake or otherwise) is just way hotter. That’s the appeal of horror movies to me. I just love the blood. Metal? I think the link between metal, fetish and blood is clear as a bell. I am a total metalhead and to me the three just coexists peacefully and have always done so. Tell me Alice Cooper, Marilyn Manson, Rob Zombie, Godhead and fucking Ozzy didn’t do this long before I came around!
Censorship must be a huge issue that cuts in on your work from time to time. How do you deal with this issue?
It used to. Now I have a free website where you can see previews of what’s to come when my pay site, Missevil.net, is launched and I’m also a Zivity model, where I am ruling the site with my photos! Zivity is an amazing community where you can see uncensored photos from the likes of models like Mosh, Jade Vixen, Apnea and myself to name a few.
Being a live performer and sharing the stage with black metal act, Immolith, what has the experience been like?
Fucking amazing. Those dudes are the coolest guys ever and they really gave me my opening as far as performing with bands is concerned. All the things I just adore in life came together in the shows I did with them. I got to wear all my fetish gear, be dragged out on my hands and knees from a collar and leash, tied to a cross, whipped and “murdered” in front of a live audience who was screaming for my blood! It was orgasmic. To this day, no other live performance has compared to the shows I’ve done with them. My panties were soaked after those shows! Shout out to Greg Isiamon for picking me and popping my cherry!
“I’m a twisted creature of darkness.” Elaborate on this quote.
I hate to take the easy way out of this question but that’s something that can only be experienced. It can’t be explained.
What can we expect to see from a performance of your show?
You can expect nothing but prepared professionalism, but more so, me enjoying myself. I don’t do anything I don’t absolutely love which is why I’ve never worked in an office, but I’ve always been one to follow my passions. I’m an artist. I always have been and I always will be. You will never see me going through the motions just to get through a show. I’m loving every minute of it. And I have a great sense of theatrics. I’m a convincing actress and I just swallow up any chance to perform in front of a crowd. I truly feed off the crowd and I’m in love with performing. It’s my calling.
What goes through your mind when on stage?
The music. I’m actually known for performing with my eyes closed. Yes, upside down pole tricks included. Don’t get me wrong, I do make eye contact with my audience, but I have moments where I just sink into the music, it becomes a part of me, it’s flowing through my veins and I can’t separate myself from it. I’m genuinely not there during those moments. I’m in the song. I’ve been told it’s a sight to behold and that I should see what I look like in the grasp of such a moment.
Are there any fetishes that you don’t find appealing?
I refuse to answer that because I respect everyone’s choices and I would never want my fetishes to be judged.
Pinup and fetish is part of the mainstream/underground culture, but where do you see the future pinup doll?
Part of mainstream culture? Yes. But not authentic. Beyonce in ballet boots in a music video is a weak representation of fetish style or culture. It’s being borrowed and raped by mainstream but it will never truly be so because mainstream can’t handle it. The lifestyle is not for everyone. Anyone can “act” fetish but can you live it? Mainstream by definition implies watered down. You want the real thing? Get away from mainstream.
What kind of music do you like?
That’s a broad question. I like metal, rock, industrial and gothic to name a few genres. It depends on my mood.
Outside of modeling, what do you like to do for fun?
I am an eternal party girl. I’m the one who knows everyone at the bar. Other than that, honestly, I’m a nature lover. I lived in WA for a few years and there was nothing more beautiful than all the natural landscaping and wildlife. I hiked many mountains while I lived there. When I first moved back to NYC after many years, I went to Central Park every day for months. It was spiritual. I also am always reading about 3 books at a time. If I don’t have something to read, I will annoy you by reading your DVD player manual, your shampoo bottle, fuck, even the instructions on a tube of Preparation H. I NEED to read. My mind just demands it.
Do you have any advice for gals out there who would like to start a career in alternative modeling?
This is a tough industry. You don’t get into this because you’re curious. You get in this, unleash a fury and fight for your place. This has to be your dream or you won’t make it. You have to live for it. Be aggressive and assertive. Don’t be afraid to put your name out there. Practice in front of mirrors. Be able to look at your face and body objectively as the tools of your trade. Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! That’s the only way you will learn how to do this and if you can do this.
What made you choose art modeling over commercial modeling? Or do you do both?
I don’t really care for commercial modeling. I’m much more interested in sharing a piece of my soul than selling a product. Now if the product is something that happens to be a piece of my soul then there you have it! But I want to create art and express myself, not sell merchandise.
Is nudity essential to fetish modeling? Is it essential to a fine art model’s portfolio?
No and no. Fetish modeling is simply accentuating and exaggerating what is feminine. It is sexual and sensual, but that does not require nudity. Fine art is usually nude but need not necessarily be so either.
Do you consider yourself a confident woman? How do you keep yourself feeling sexy so that you are fearless in your photo shoots?
Yes I am definitely confident. I think that’s because I’m not trying to be the prettiest thing out there. I’m not intimidated by girls that are “hotter” than me. I am comfortable in my skin. Of course there are things about my body that I don’t like, just like any other woman, but I’ve either decided to do something about it or accept it the way it is and move on. I don’t obsess. Plus, I know I am a very talented model which counts for a lot more than looks. I know what I’m doing and I love doing it so much.
Some view fetish photography as “just porn” or a career with no artistic value. What are your thoughts on these issues and all the negative insight in the field?
Sure, feel free to feel however you want about it. I don’t concern myself with negativity. I’m here for my fans and not to defend myself. I don’t even care if what I do is considered porn. So be it. I love it and if my job makes me a porn star or a whore, then I guess that’s what I am. I don’t really feel the need to label or over analyze it and certainly not to apologize for it.
What’s the most difficult aspect of your job?
I would have to say the non-artistic aspect of being a model. You know, the networking, the hustling. Most fetish models are not agency represented so we have to find our own work or promote our own brand. It can be grueling and costly. It’s a big world and everyone wants their 15 minutes so it can take a lot of blood, sweat and tears to make it.
Final words…
The only one you have to live with 24 hours a day is yourself. Know yourself and be yourself.
